Tuesday, May 24, 2005
little did i realize
all i was doing all along was acting
no, damn it, it still hurts like how it did that day
but coz i told myself, i ll be 'strong', i am not gonna cry
upon watching kagen no tsuki again just now, i finally gave in and let the tears flow.
its not the show, its him.
then somehow i started panicking. i could not stop my tears from flowing like some spoilt fountain
every single thing, bad or good, played back. kinda overwhelming.
sigh.
i know i need to concentrate on my chinese, the papers next monday, barely 5 days away
gawd save me, im crumbling under this
in fact, jaymie said i was more timid already... ive.. withdrawn into my own world
i dont know.. my fighting spirit has died... something i used to be so closely associated with
but one thing for sure,
im not giving into those hypocrites
if you dont like me coz of my family background, coz i can fail every single subject and still live, coz i have all the freedom in the world (or so it seems), coz i bring my hockey boots to school, coz im taller, coz i always flirt with guys, coz you dont like the attention they give me or some other ridiculous reason
why not go and fly a kite? huh??
so you ve got a lot of time and excess energy to hate me, right? and think that i dont know? no, i can feel the hypocrisy a hundred miles away, honey
im no idiot
why not use the energy and time on studying? its healthier.
and coz when i get very pissed with you hating me, you can be sure someday i ll show you how its like.
i know exactly who you people are, why you hate me for, and how to deal with you. every single one of you small frys.
im just withdrawn and a natural introvert
thats all.
and its not nice if you got confronted, yeah? you ll die of the embarrassment.
8:46 PM
